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Showing posts from November, 2015

Feeling Thankful

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Just last night, my family and I were rear-ended on the interstate even though we had not slowed nor stopped suddenly.  The impact was so great it woke our sleeping infant son who immediately began to cry due to the jolt.  As we surveyed the damage to our vehicle, we marveled at the fact the collision could have been worse.  Our car could have been totaled.  But it wasn't.  There could have been a fatalities.  But there weren't.  After the police report had been filed, we were able to finish our drive home, walk into our home and talk about what had transpired.  I am thankful for our lives.

It has been over a year since I lost my best friend of nearly forty years to illness.  She had the ability to make me laugh when all I really wanted to do was cry.  Conversely, when I did cry, she was right there to offer tissues and a listening ear (and a bowl of ice cream).  I remember the times she would offer her last french fry to me and never had any issues with telling me things I co…

Simply Running Through My Mind

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It's official.  I am that person.

Wanting to run and not look back.  Running from the negative thoughts.  Pushing past my fears.  Pushing past the voices.

You're too thin.

You're not big enough.

Your breasts.

Your stomach.
Your butt.
Your hair.
Your clothes.
Your everything.
They like her better than you.
She's smarter than you are.
He'd have more fun with someone else.
They prefer a different mom.
You suck as a mom.
You're not as good as you think you are.
Running from the negative thoughts.
How can I break free?  What do I need to do?  What is the point? 
I hate who I have become.  How do I help my children fight insecurities?  How does anyone fight insecurities?  They cover me.  They envelope me.  They fight to squelch my breath.  I cannot breathe.  I feel heavy.  The burden is too heavy. 

Will I ever be enough?  No. 

How.

Stop it.  STOP IT.  STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Recoiling into a fetal position.  Not wanting to…