Dear Trusted Adult...today is the day.

Dear Trusted Adult,

Today is the day that I let it all go.

Today is the day that I release the shame that has been prevalent in my life as a result of the choices you made nearly 30 years ago. I am releasing the shame which has been like a large immovable anchor tethered to a small balloon, weighing it down, never allowing it to take flight and float freely.


I release the shame that has at times washed over me like crashing waves on a stormy beach, causing me to feel as if I was drowning, unable to breathe.

Today is the day I no longer look at all males suspiciously as they interact with my children. I will no longer stand on the sideline questioning their motivation and expressions of love. Don't get me wrong, I will continue to be discerning but I will no longer project my own limiting fears onto my children.

I will no longer be afraid of the bumps in the night and the shadows that cast their faint, dark images into my bedroom. Today is the day that I release it all. I let go of the thoughts in my head which told me I was not worth fighting for. The thoughts that told me I was not worth protecting. The thoughts that told me I was not worth saving and that I was never enough. I release them.

I release the feelings of being tainted, damaged and used, no longer pure. Today, I forgive myself for all of my past failed relationships and my attempts to find love in all the wrong places.

Today is the day that I give myself without hesitation to my children. I will surrender to their frequent requests for hugs, tickle time and innocent touches which have until today, threatened to evoke distant yet uncomfortable memories. I will fight against triggers and flashbacks and choose to live in the present.


Effective today, I will willingly give in to their earnest yearnings for a mother's love, genuine love from a trusted adult.

Today is the day that I tell that beautiful little girl in the past that it is OK to come out of her protective space and to accept the love from those around her. Today is the day that I tell her she is unique, special and important. Today is the day that I embrace her, caress her head and tell her that she can relax because she is safe.

Dear trusted adult, today is the day that I forgive you. This letter is a gift as it marks the day that I release you. You were a trusted adult, someone who was entrusted to care for me. I realize now the flaw was in you and not in me.

In all honesty, this letter is a gift to myself because today is the day I am finally free.


**Our past can absolutely impact our present and our future. If you or someone you love is struggling with matters from the past, please seek professional and spiritual help. Life is too short to live it carrying burdens which can ultimately be released through prayer, counseling and forgiveness.**

About the Author:

Shatanese Reese is a freelance blogger who resides in Atlanta, GA with her husband and their six children. She enjoys walks on the beach and colorful sunrises. Shatanese’s goal is to find the extraordinary in every day moments. Follow Shatanese on FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, and Periscope.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 6, 2016 at 3:09 PM

    Fear and Grace are what I find are my two strongest opportunity for growth. I find letting go to be the only way to accomplish my growth. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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